?

Log in

Thu, May. 20th, 2004, 01:47 pm
brokendowninit:

hi,

my name is mandy. im 20. and i don't know how i found this. but here i am. this seems like something i could really enjoy. simply because i have a lot to bitch about, especially about my "b/f"(its one of those things where he doesn't like the term b/f and g/f, but that basically what we are) and how he doesn't understand that all he has to do is say something nice, hold me, and then everything will be fine.

but nooo he starts shit, by complaining about something small, and its not like normal complaining, he gets just as mad as he would if i just took a shit in his bed or slashed his tires (which i have never and would never do) but its over little things, like not closing the shower curtain, or wanting to sleep an extra hour before i take a movie we rented back.

and its seems like he gets worse when i'm PMSing, i don't if its because i get more offended/irritated/hurt/upset at him and it just seems like its worse, but its almost like he's PMSing too! and so there he is complaining, and belittling me cuz i did something small, and i get hurt because of the way he's treating me(not because he wanted me to do something), and i'll start crying, and i don't know if any of your guys are like this, but i think most are, he gets mad that i'm crying! its like if he wouldn't have been so extreme with me in the first place i would be okay, but he made me upset! and now he's gonna get mad at me for THAT too?

so it just goes back and forth like that until the argument gets super fucking bad, and one of us usually ends up leaving, him because he wants to or me because HE WANTS ME TO. and thats what happened today!!! only this time all i did was start talking about what i want in the relationship(for him to listen, treat me like he wants me as much as he says he does, more affection, blah blah), and it opened up this huge can of worms about all the bad shit I'VE done in the past that he can't get over, even tho the shit he's done I'M supposed to get over.

and it sucks so much because i want things to be okay, he says he wants that too, but what it would take for us to get along more often, is for him to not rile up my emotions, especially durring more emotional times, and communicate in a more civil mannor, but he just won't let up off my ass sometimes, and he knows i'm PMSing because i have reminded him of the fact that i was starting my period soon and all so he can't play dumb with that one. he just doesn't seem to care about the things that matter the most to me, and to our relationship being good, sometimes.

and not that it matters to you, but i just kinda figured out that he probably feels the same way about the things that matter so much to him (i.e. my past fuck ups) but the thing is , i can't change my past, and past actions. but he can change how he is to me now and today. which will help us be okay more often.

grahhhhhhh. and that concludes my bitch-rant, that wasn't entirely pms related.

Fri, May. 21st, 2004 08:06 pm (UTC)
glitterpimpette

They sell guns at Wal-Mart. Buy one. Next time he acts up during that time of the month, use it. Hehehehehe!!!! Welcome by the way. I'm Cece. :-)

Thu, Jul. 1st, 2004 09:54 pm (UTC)
commentz: past

had a friend with an ex like that. always bringing up her past screw ups. you can't change the past. if he forgave you, he needs to move on and stop using it as an excuse for his shitty behavior. good luck!